Telling our grown kids that we were going to be moving far away was very difficult & emotional but we did it months ago. They reacted with a mixture of support and angst.  But, ever since we first decided that we wanted to make this move, by far the thing that we have dreaded most was the idea of telling my 93-year-old father. 

My father lives nearby in a senior apartment complex and has a it pretty good. Physically, he is doing amazingly well for his age. He has a nice apartment, cleaning service, three good meals a day, transportation to doctor appointments, and friends. I love him, but he is a handful. He is a chronic worrier and definitely a glass-half-full guy. He is probably the most negative and self-focused person I have ever known. He complains about everything and everyone. He is prone to panic attacks. He always thinks he’s dying. Even though he has been repeatedly told not to, he calls 911 for every little thing – including constipation and ingrown toenails.

I have been solely responsible for him for decades since my mother died. I am his power of attorney. We pick up his prescriptions and sort them into the daily boxes and pay his bills. We make sure he gets to all his appointments. At least once a week, Wayne has to “fix” his TV because he like to squeeze and hold the buttons – or unplug it instead of turning it off. Most of that responsibility will now fall on my very capable daughters and their supportive men.

We decided that today was the day to tell him about the move. We wanted to give him some time to adjust to the idea. I had a knot in my stomach all day. We picked him up for our regular Sunday dinner with family. We gave him his usual well-watered-down cocktail. Then, we muted the football game and summoned the nerve to them him. The first words out of his mouth were “You’re not that stupid, are you?” But then, something astounding happened. He was supportive! He said he thought it was a great decision. He said he always wished he had down something like that when he retired. He said he was thrilled for us and couldn’t wait to tell all the “cronies” at his complex how brave we are. You could have knocked me over with a feather…

I know from experience that he might change his tune next week, but I am taking this as a big win – for now.